SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hey guys, what uh we are live for the premiere episode. Oh it still says a weird live video starting.

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Let's see. Hold on one second. Hold on guys.

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Okay.

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What just uh we are live.

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Okay, you guys, sorry, little technical difficulties. What's up everyone? Welcome to the premiere of She Say She Say episode podcast presented by Tanae and Essence. Y'all, we are so excited to be bringing this to you all. When I tell you all, it is gonna be an amazing journey. I know Essence, you're ready, aren't you? I'm so ready. Essence, tell them a little bit about yourself. Thank you. Um, what do I start, Brian? Your wonderful mother. I am a mother. I am a mother of three. Yes. Um originally from Richmond. Yes, yes, born and raised. Yes, and a hustler for real. And a hustler for real. Yeah. Working woman, yes. Can I tell you? I am so grateful for the way our past calls. Yes, and the way things happen. I have to tell you all like Essence is a real one. I'm not gonna tell the whole story, but long story short, was she was gonna work at one of my stars. One of the girls was talking shit about my sister. Essence was honest and let me know. And I'm so happy it didn't work out for us working together in that capacity because now it's gonna be just something. Look at this. That was a blessing. It's a blessing for that. I don't play about my friends. Okay, she doesn't. She's in your area like my sister. Yeah, I don't play. So that fire will come out. It will. So, Essence, so the premise about our show is to encourage, inspire, right, support, talk.

SPEAKER_02 1:44

Talk.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

I don't think we have a safe space enough to talk. No, we don't. We don't, right? Um, so saying that, I have a question for you. But I must shout out the bar at Bellas, you all. We use that facility. Thank you so much. We are so excited to be in this amazing place to be able to bring this podcast to you all. Um, so when I said that I have set the one, can black women have a bad day? Are we given the same grace as other people are? No, I feel like we're looking at it as being angry. Mmm. We can't have bad days. And why do you think that is? I I don't know. It's like we have to keep it together 24-7. Yeah. Yeah. I think it just goes back from years and years and years, and we just have to keep it together. Uh, we have to work, come home, cook, do everything, we can't have a bad day. Mental health is not a thing with us. It's not. We have to keep it going. Do you think it's because we don't allow it or others don't allow it? I think I think generations before us just kept it. They kept it together. Made it seem like everything. It made it seem like that. Yeah, so for us, it's it for our generation, it's like we're being weak. Ooh. Yeah, so that is so true. You know, so many times I deal with people uh other races, and honestly, I'm not racist, right? My whole family is all mixed up, I'm mixed out. But when I hear them say, Well, tonight I can't have a bad day, I'm like, no, I can't have a bad day. No, yeah. So what makes you think because you woke up on the wrong side, you could act the way you want to? Right. I always tell people if I act like that, you always say I'm aggressive. You're scared. Yeah. I don't want to deal with tonight in the style work environment. They couldn't say that. Seriously. Yeah. But then it's just like, well, do our people around us allow us to have a bad day? Like if you have a man or a woman, do they give us the grace? No, especially not the men. That's another story though. Oh. Why is that? I don't think they give us the grace that we need. I think that we bear children, we do other things. So we're not like, like I said, generations before where we just are housewives. We're not we're working now. Yeah, we're in the field with them. Yeah, we want our own coins. Do you think if they made it comfortable but we didn't have to work, it would be different? I think if a man asked me to we're married, um, hey, just be a housewife. I don't think I would take it. Me, you think they would kind of throw it in my face. I don't have time for that. I don't want to be a housewife. That's the way. But daughter father, that was him. Yeah. And we would argue about me working. Yeah. And then look. And then he makes too much, and it's like that's a problem. Oh, but to him, I didn't make anything. Oh no. You know? Um, to him it was just like that little bit of money you're getting, and I'm like, oh, okay. He was like, I could fulfill your needs. But if I would have done it in a predicament now, I wouldn't have been able to do anything. Yeah. And look at you now, you're a boss. Oh, thanks for you. Thank you. But I feel like sometimes men feel like if you have opinion or if you want to do something, or if you're like, no, I'm not just gonna sit at home any longer. They feel that we're too aggressive, we're too hard to deal with. Yeah, that's like a black woman thing, but that's another story. And I'm so sick of our men saying that we are just too manly or masculine. Oh my gosh, but I feel like I've we have always had to been like that. Like I'm masculine, I get it all the time. I'm too dominant, I'm too aggressive. Yeah, I've had to be dominant. Yeah, I've worked two and three jobs while raising three kids. Like I've I've always had to do for myself. I don't look for others to do for myself. But to me, outside, I mean, I don't I'm not with you, right? Like in that capacity, but you still are in your soft woman era. I'm so soft. You still soft. And so I don't have to be until you make me that's a good point. So what's not what's making you not being able to be soft? Mmm. I feel like men say that women nag them, but they nag us.

SPEAKER_02 5:18

Yeah, they do.

SPEAKER_01 5:19

Yeah, they do. They don't know fake. Yeah, and that that that's that can be a little annoying to me. And that can make me not be soft.

SPEAKER_02 5:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:27

Do you think because I know right now, right? I'm 41, I got you in some years. Older guys to me are like that. Yeah. And you know what though? Yeah, I haven't dealt with a man in so long. So and it's been a fresh a breath of fresh air on myself. Really? Yeah. Detox? Detox. Are you over them completely? Really? Yeah, they don't do it for me anymore. So you prefer women. I prefer women.

SPEAKER_00 5:51

Okay, nothing's wrong with that. I prefer women. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 5:53

What what is it about a woman that you think is better for you? They bring out the soft side in me. It's like I don't have to be hard. Like women get you, like, you know what women like because you're a woman. Yeah. And they just get me. Do you think the cattiness of sometimes? I feel like they have to be um healed. A lot of people don't come healed. I'm healing. So it's a difference. Yes, essence. So it's like uh healing. Well, it took me a while, y'all. Um, I think I just got to the point where I I realized I needed to start healing for my children. When it started to affect my kids, that's when I was like, okay, essence, you gotta kind of get yourself together. So I started praying more, asking God to show me signs. Yeah. God is my all. So I was like, I just go in the church, okay? Yeah, she's a real channel. I love the Lord. Yes. Um, I was like, God, just show me the signs. And then I started going to therapy. And my therapist is a breath of fresh air. Like Did did it take you a couple therapists to figure out the right one, or you got right the first? So the funny thing is I started during COVID and I did the better health thing, whatever. It didn't I felt like I was too much for her. Yeah. And and she was African American. And I felt like sh I was enough, like a I was a lot for her. So I didn't feel like it was a safe space for me. Yeah. So I only did like two s sessions with her. And then I was and that was it. And then I had one um not too long ago, and I just did the introduction. So I was one. Yeah. Didn't stick. For me, I don't think I was ready either. None of my black therapists have been for me. But not ready. Yeah. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. My last therapist was a white man, Jewish man. And he got more out of me than anyone. Than anybody, right? Yeah, she she uh she made it safe for me and I was very vulnerable. Yeah. And I started to peel back later. Were you against it at first? Mm-hmm. Why? It's like nothing's wrong with being good. You're crazy, you don't need to. Yeah. I I always been pro therapy because my grandfather always encouraged us to go through. Yeah, and I think that's good. My mother started encouraging me because she started going. And um I come from a line of like strong black women. So my grandmother is more like pray about you good kind of thing. So my mom broke that generational curse. So my mommy. Um right. So she broke that generational curse. So she made it safe for me to be like, you know, I she's I think you need to go talk to somebody. Like, you can talk to me, you can talk to your family, your friends, but I think you need to talk to someone that doesn't, that's not gonna not judge, but they don't know anything. It's a safe space for you. Do you feel like you always present as you have it together? So you felt that you didn't need anyone to have it together, right? I don't have it together. But even still, you know, I always used to hear, even if you're not doing well, get up, get yourself together, and go out to the world. That's what you do. I can't have a bad day. Asin's you don't ever have a bad day, you don't ever look like you're having a bad day. Oh my god. You are so put together. Thank you, friends. You're welcome. I have bad days. Some days I don't even want to get out of bed. And then I have to get three kids ready every morning. I can't sit in bed for longer than 10, 20 minutes. We have to make it to school on time. Perfect attendance is a thing, you know. Um, but I can't, I don't I don't have bad days. So that's what prompted me to go to therapy. But do you think that's why you're not in time to have a bad day? Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. Um I feel like as mothers and friends, because think about you, you can't have a bad day either. I mean, uh, we knew we have days off. Like literally, we could take a day off from work, but we're still on as mothers. No. That doesn't stop. That we can't clock out being a mom. I haven't slept past five, six a.m. since I was pregnant. And how does how does you just got to do it? But she'll be finding me someday. Yeah. Yeah. Come on now. Yeah, you know, my phone always goes off. But I know for me, one thing I I'm good at is shutting down. Okay, yeah. No, you I So you have that you have that that that U-turn. Um, yes and no, because I'm someone who I'm addicted to my daughter. But I think because my mental I still go through therapy, okay? So I'm addicted to her, but it's healthy and not healthy. It's healthy. Not always. I understand why you would say it's not always, but I feel like you have that balance. Yeah, you're a protector. Oh, thank you. Yeah, that that just it that's why it comes in. Even at ties like today, go out, go do something. I'm like, oh I'm fine, I'm a baby. She's like, bye, like we're getting you out of that though. I know you are, because we're gonna we're outside the camera. We are outside. Yeah, outside. I mean, and then to the air conditioning, but we're outside, right? But yeah, I um it's unhealthy how I am, but like you mentioned protection, right? And I can't help that because I know I was not protected as a child, so my goal is to make sure she is. Yeah, but then she's with my sister, like, so I know she's good. Oh, just mentally, I'm like, I feel guilty, and we're leading into that. Yeah, is do you feel guilty when you're away from your children's life? I need that. I need what you got. Why I need that? I teach me that. I don't because I I have to have love too. I feel like okay, so I was a young mother, I had my first child and I was I just I got pregnant at 19. Yeah, and my first child at 20, and I've I've just been on it and I've been a mom. So while my friends was outside and taking trips to go on that, I was in the house being a mom. Yeah, and then I had my second child to mirror, they're two months apart. So I was in the house, again, working. And at this point, I'm having two jobs working, and then I had Erin. Yeah. So I just recently turned 30. Yeah, and I'm outside.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

Thank you. I'm outside, I'm outside.

SPEAKER_01 11:17

But you know, you balance it well, right?

SPEAKER_02 11:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:19

I need to learn that because I feel guilty all the time. Don't feel guilty. I don't I don't feel like you should feel guilty. Because you put in the time, you put in the work. And and you're and I feel like you're raising her so well.

SPEAKER_02 11:30

Oh, thank you. You and my friend. Thank you. Miss Monet.

SPEAKER_01 11:34

Um, I feel like you guys do an amazing job. Like, y'all are a hell of a team. You're so sweet. Thank you. And and and she's blessed to have both of you. Two strong women. Like, can you imagine? You know what's so funny? Sometimes we don't realize our blessings. Yeah. Oh my god, am I getting emotional? It's the long islands. But sometimes we don't realize our blessings because I was leaving my goddaughter graduation, uh-huh I told her, I said, Pumpkin, you're so blessed, you always had a village. Yeah. Me and my sister never had a village. Yeah. And so, and I'm like, and then I said that to Ty, and Ty was like, you know what, we're building a village for baby though. Yeah. Um, because we have so much family essence. Um, and not just because people are out of the country and everything, but I don't have a village. Yeah. You know, so we created our own. And it starts to grow off. Thank you. But it's like you don't look at your blessings that way, right? Because sometimes you're like, oh my god, this person has a million siblings and everything. I have one sibling, and she shows up more than anybody I see. And I'm like, wow. She's amazing. Thank you. Yeah. I have younger siblings. Yeah, so it's definitely right. But I have a village. I'm I'm so grateful. You are like it's a blessing. I think it's a blessing. I don't really give my kids father enough credit, but I'll give them credit now. I'm healing. Right. So let's start there. But he he does what he needs to do as far as like getting them. And I couldn't ask for a better father because I know some people who haven't seen, you know what I mean? And it it it it can be a lot, right? Or they don't have someone. So they're they're forced to just stay in the house. And I uh we have that balance where he knows I need my me time because he knows what I do for my children. Yeah, so I think he's I feel like he's growing in it, he's growing because I'm growing. Yeah, I love it. And I'm leaving the pettiness behind. Yeah. So we're trying to, you know, yeah, be the best parents we can be for our children. So you're a single mom, but not a single parent. Yeah, I'm a single mom, not a single parent. So but we'll we can get into that. Okay, okay, okay. But uh we're we're healing, right? Mom said you're shaking my head, so we're healing. But I love that you're a woman enough to say that, right?

SPEAKER_02 13:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:39

And the fact that you're open to being like, Yeah, get your kids. We're not together, but be with your child. You know, I don't have the same thing, right? Like, my daughter father is like, it's all of us or nothing. Like, you know, and the thing about it, sometimes I'm like, okay, I know if I would have stayed with him, my life would have been set. He's not no hurting man, he had, you know, his shit together and stuff, but I would have been not set mentally or emotionally. So you chose yourself. Yeah. A lot of women don't do that. They see dollars. I know. And you chose your own dollar side. You know, and I think that's why when I hear guys say women just want money, and women just want I'm like, you're meeting people who can't do for themselves. Right, I don't even want you to get money. So you're telling me where I wouldn't have had to work, I wouldn't have had to do anything, like everything would have been taken care of, and I walked away from that for my peace of mind. Right? So it's just like I when I tell guys, I'm like, no, you have the wrong perspective on all women. Because not all of us are like that. No. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm fine if a man wants to take care of me. Yeah. I'll take that offer. Yes, but I can take care of myself too. Yes. And that's the balance of it all, right? But I'm now in the stage where I don't want to live with anyone. I don't I love to cuddle, I just don't want to live with a man anymore. I don't like to be smothered. I love it.

SPEAKER_00 14:51

Like, um, I feel sleeping real you sweat and everything.

SPEAKER_01 14:55

I feel like I I like to cuddle, but it's it just like I don't know, like that'd be too much. Like, back up. I mean, but I it's I'm so confusing to guys because I want that, but then I'm like, uh You're so dominant though. But I'm dominant too. Like that's why I need a real manly like I am dominant. I'm dominant, yeah. I like but I feel like we've had to be. Yeah, but I feel like if a guy is gonna be a bitch, I might as well deal with a bitch. Like, I don't want no. There's some women out here that are more manlier than that. You know, I was telling Essence the other day when we were in the car, just give me a Judy with the brat guy. Oh yeah. Or a um, what's our crush? Um tie something. Tie young.

SPEAKER_00 15:33

Yeah, tie young.

SPEAKER_01 15:34

But it's just like the way the brat is taken care of. I'm like, some of these guys need to take some foods from Judy. Yeah, yeah. Because she goes all ahead, right? I love how they um have that balance in their relationship. I do too. Yeah. So talking about Judy and DeBrat, do you think people are born gay? Let's get into it. Hey guys, I think you've all loved in. Yeah, I think so. You do? Yeah. Why do you think that? Um, why do I think that? If I have to be honest, you can just kind of tell when they're younger. Um I have a gay dar. And I've had one since I was a child. And I just feel like also I know for some men that are gay, they're raised around all women. All women. No, yes. That's all they do. So they kind of pick up on that. Yeah. Um for me, was I born gay? I feel like I've always been attracted to women.

unknown 16:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 16:32

I just never acted on it. No. Um, I met my the kid's dad so young. Yeah. He kind of just like never went anywhere. Yeah. We were kind of like stuck. I didn't get to venture out, you know. I didn't get to go out. I think if I did, I would have probably been with the women or something. Like, you know. Um, but yeah, I've always been attracted to women. I so I mean you've always been in the salon industry where I'm around a lot. I don't think people are born gay. I don't think you know what you're attracted to at a certain age. But it's just like that's the case for all these into women. Have you seen the young girls now? I have. Like they're like studs and like they are women's crazy. Like buzzcuts. Yeah. But then you know, sometimes I question that because you could tell when a young guy is gay. Yeah. Right?

SPEAKER_00 17:18

Like gestures and mannerisms, and I don't know, I call it like, I don't know how some guys talk, like they're it's like gay language or something, right? Like, so it's a little sex.

SPEAKER_01 17:28

Very yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:29

So sometimes like, okay, but born, I don't know, because we don't know what we like, right? When we're born.

SPEAKER_01 17:36

I mean, I I can kind of see what you're saying there. Um, but then I go back to seeing how the kids are now. Like my generation, I didn't see a lot of like studs and like lesbians. It's so dangerous. But now, oh yeah. You know, it's like a trend now to be there. Because I think a lot of women think guys want to hear that. Yeah, and I don't I think it's uh when they like when guys I know that I'm I like women and they try to fantasize, it makes me throw up. Oh, I see what you're saying. Okay. Like you're gross. Okay. I don't even like you like that. So now you want me to like you. Are your parents like if you were like mom, dad, I have a girlfriend, are they comfortable? Funny story. Oh, my mom and my dad are like they're cool, aren't they? They're cool. Yeah, my sister loves them. No, my mom is like funny. She was like, Well, I mean, the only problem I had is you can take me out to lunch. Like, are you interested right now? Like, what? Like, my mom was so cool with it. Yeah, my dad, he just doesn't take life seriously. He jokes about everything. I love that. Yeah, but he was fine. He was fine. I mean, my grandparents. Yeah. Yeah. I'm really open with my grandparents. I'm open to it. So, okay. You know how it's like if you if someone has like multiple children, you're that child. I'm that child for my parents. Like, I eloped. Yeah. And they were like weak. Um, couldn't you get past you? Um, yeah, you know Monesa. Yes. Don't she did her dirt, but it was more so not like all on open. You were out. Oh, everyone knew about it. You live a lot, yeah. I'm that I'm that child too. So I feel like for my parents, they have the like my sister on my mom's side. She's so studious. Even my dad, he has a stepdaughter. That's my sister too. She went, she's in college, and I have my younger sister. Yeah. But me, I'm turn. Yeah. You know what's so funny? It's so I never hear anything from my family either. So I think out of spite at one point I was the way I was because my dad's Jamaican, right? And a lot homophobic and everything like that. And so it was just like everything he didn't want me to do, I did. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:40

Fuck yeah, I'm gonna do what I want to do. Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_00 19:42

And then on the other end, my my mom just didn't have and she's Dominican.

SPEAKER_01 19:48

Yeah, she didn't have roles. No, my mom, I never got yelled at, I never got hit, I never had a curfew. I I did roles. Yeah, that's why everyone would come to like even when my mom would go away and travel and stuff, she would leave a boatload of money, her cart hidden, and her keys in case I needed to do something. I started driving at 14. Well, you had a lit light. When I tell my sister tell you, like, it's good and bad because I'm like, okay, the mistakes my mom made because I didn't have any boundaries. But you wouldn't be able to tell, like, talking to you now and talking to your sister now, like today. You guys are like bombs. You guys are like business owners, you guys are hustlers. Like, that's why I don't regret it. Because I thought all that stuff out of the house.

SPEAKER_00 20:28

You guys know her when you know the people, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:31

Like y'all like promotions, all of that stuff. You know what's so funny though, Esther's? If you notice, I don't talk to people though. Like, my circle is so like you're my circle. Like, I can count on two hands how many people are around me. Yeah, my goddaughter mom, Dana, I love you girls. Love her. Um, you know, we literally been friends since 14. Yeah, and I'll she'll be 41 in July 31st, and I just turned 41. I don't have a lot of people around me, but I meet so many people. Yeah. And like I'm just like, and it's not, I don't like in and it's not trust issues, it's just I'm I think that's why I built my village that way because I'm like the people I could choose. I can't, you can't choose your family. No, but you could choose your friends, right? Yes, and so that's why I'm like that with the people around me. I'm very selective, yeah. You know, and that's why you're you've made it so far. Okay. Because everybody can't come with you. Thank you. And I'm learning that now at 30. You can't. I'm telling you, not everyone that you meet in life will make it with you. I don't have a lot of friends. My mom calls me avoidant. But I'm not really avoidant. I just don't take bullshit. Like so if I found out like you're like doing something that is not to my liking, I'll just stop talking to you. I really don't feel like I have to explain to you. You don't have to. Um I I'm just not I don't feel like I have to explain. I'm that type of person. People want uh ending story. Like, why are you not talking to me? Why you don't owe anyone that? No, I don't I feel like you're not my children. Mm mm. And then even with my family, I can't stop talking to you. Yeah. I but it I don't really say Stop talking. We used to take breaks. They're healthy breaks. Okay. I take healthy breaks. I don't know how to do that. I just cut the full off. Okay. So with my family, yeah. I take healthy breaks because I tried to pray about it, you know. Um, but with just like friends, yeah. You'll tell if I really care about you. But I think you're that's why you and my sister are connected because I'm learning so much. Hey, what's up, Jordan? Hey, Kim, hi. I'm learning so much from Kai about one thing you all, I pray to God in my dreams every night besides allowing me to live to see my daughter get older. I pray that my heart learns how to forgive. Oh, that's so deep, friend. Thank you. People don't realize when I say my rich, beautiful best friend, my daughter, when I say my sister is rich, I never mean monetary things. I don't care about that stuff. What I'm talking about is life, love, like I'm telling you, if you have one person a day who asks, How are you doing? That's the biggest lesson. Oh my god, and you know what? Let's talk about your sister. Oh she asked me how I'm doing. Yeah. And I never at first I'm like, Yeah, it's weird. I've never had a friend ask me genuinely how I'm doing. It's weird for people, like even you. Like, hey dolly, how are you? And I'm like, that is so like I'm so rich. Like if when it comes to like things like friendship, because no one is ever, I'm always the one asking somebody else, how are you? And I'm a like when it comes to my friendships, I feel like a lot of my friends kind of look at me sideways, like, why are you doing so much? I'm like, I love you. Like I treat you how I would want to be treated in a friendship. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, if you need something, I'm there for you. Like, I literally have had times where I really had was low in funds, but I know that my friend needed something. So I'm I'm I'm coming to, you know, make sure that you're okay. That's where you are, the way you are. You know, so when when I when I get like you know, so my spirit is just like, yeah, she's not for you. I just kind of yeah, I learned early on because my mother used to always say to Ty and I, you all are givers. Yes, you don't need takers around. Yes. At one point, I think we felt obligated to do things for people around us because we felt so blessed. But then we realized it's not for us to heal everyone that other people wanted. And I had to learn that. When I tell you, I'm learning everything this year, y'all. Like I'm learning everything this year. That's it. Because I I used to be so kind of like butthurt in a sense. Um because it means cutting people off, you know, it it it it used to didn't hurt, but now it kind of hurts now because I'm getting older. So the people in my village, I want to keep them, but not like I said, not everybody can come. No, not at all. Um, you know, the thing I learned too, and it was hurtful two years ago now. I can't believe it. Sam, my girl girlfriend, everyone knew she was on my page everywhere. You know, that was my my gay friend, you know, my girl, you know. Um, we stopped talking. And I'm not gonna lie, it cut like a knife, but then I said, if it's meant to be, we'll come back together. And that was like my girl. Like I used to fight for her, like, yeah, yeah, it was myself her Dina and her twin. We were all together all the time growing up, and then her twin passed away. My best friend, and then now me and her are not talking, and that's when I think I do wanna heal, but I don't know how to. Yeah, you know, um because it's right there, baby steps, yeah. But it's like we're getting older, right? So I've never been the one to be like, you know what, let's get back. Let's I'm just like, fuck you, I don't care if you die, you know. I don't feel that way for her. Would you ever reach out to her? I'm prideful. I know I feel like we really love someone. Because we're getting older now, life is short. Yeah. Like I I feel like you know, sometimes you have to put your pride to the side. But then, too, about her is you know, she was kind of rude to people around my sister. Oh. And to me, my sister is my best friend, right? She is. Um, after baby now. Yeah. But she's my best friend. So me and Ty have always been around people we all got along with. Yeah. Because it's just us two. Yeah. And the fact you were rude to someone who's actually baby's godmom, I don't know how that will work. I don't know. Yeah. So then that they have to make the executive decision. It is what it is. Yeah. But I don't know, the people around right now, I don't like I don't have a revolving door. I don't have people in and out. So it's a revolving door with that. Like if you're here, you're here. If you're not, you're not. Like when people do that with men, sorry guys, the noise. I'm sorry. You know, when people do that with men, uh, I never get it. Like when I was younger, I used to be lit. Like But now it's just like having men in and out, it what fun is that? I don't I don't need problems with all these niggas. No, like niggas are troubled. Yeah. And especially when they don't know what they want and who they are, they'll bring out once you get. Yes. And reflect. Yes. I don't either. I don't need that either. Do you think men be turning women gay? Yeah, not like you'd be like, I'm over them, I can't do it. Let's do it something else now. Yeah, I definitely was I was pushed to that side. You think even further. But do you think you're just in the moment right now or you're just like, no, I just don't know. You know what's funny? No. I mean, okay. Funny story. Yeah. I tried it again with men. It wasn't for you. And he was fine. Uh huh. To a woman. It would have been like everything. Money, everything. And I was just like, he's my homeboy. Okay. I don't know. I know a lot. I can see you like with women. Yes, like I just can't. I don't know. Like um Yeah, no. Yeah. Yeah, like I I just I I couldn't do it. But dominant females? Yeah. Really? For sure. Okay. I mean, femmes are okay. Like you guys are beautiful, but you guys are like me. I don't know. That's not like we can't both be putting our lashes on. Like it's only one. Well that'd be fun though. Like you have a friend who could do your lashes and I mean, but I had in my previous relationship, she used to like do my hair.

SPEAKER_02 27:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:49

All that stuff. Yeah. So it was like the best of both worlds. Yeah. But as long as you're happy, no matter what. Yeah. Do you see yourself? Do you want to settle down or you want to have fun? You want to go through like a no, I don't say a whole. No, I want to be a woman's wife. For sure. For sure. I don't want to be a man's wife. You don't see that for me. Okay. You're done with kids. Yeah. We're done. She can carry. We'll adopt. I'm not having no more kids. I am done. I've done that in my younger years. Your children are beautiful. Thank you. You just such a easy one. I am done. I and then there's three of them. It's like I can see that. And you have the best of all worlds. Yeah, I can see that. Yeah. Yeah. I like uh I'm tilting my head to all of the new mothers because I've been there, done that. My kids are almost in college. Like, let's be fair. I'm not having no more kids. I'm good. He likes no kids. No, yeah, I'm good. Alright, but whatever makes you happy, now I always ask, right? Mm-hmm. When you get tired of the opposite sex, do you think it's a phase you're going through where it's just like so I thought I was going through a phase. Okay. I thought I was going through a phase, but I wasn't. So when me and my ex broke up, I was like, I think everyone thought I was gonna go back to men. But I was like, nah. I think this is where it's at.

SPEAKER_02 29:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:12

Like I think I'm gonna stay over here. I don't wanna go back. But you have support, and that's the best thing. Yeah, but you know I wouldn't have cared if I didn't. I'm the we're here. Like I don't care if you're saying I don't care if you like accept me. Yeah, I don't I didn't accept everything y'all did growing up. Don't give you gay vibes. You give me like bisexual. I can see you with like a tall, like dumb, like woman with the low cut, tattoos. What is described? She can't say her vibes. Not if not be so I give that vibe. Oh, friend, that'll be T.

SPEAKER_02 29:48

Really?

SPEAKER_01 29:48

I give that vibe. We'll talk about it later. You know what's so funny? Okay, I'll say that on another episode. But I know Yeah. I never dealt with a dog. So you just dealt with feminine women? Yeah, only. And you know, a lot of my like cousins, like I'm really close to one of my cousins. Yeah. And like one of my like my friends, they'll be like, I can't do like a a stud. Yeah. I'll be like, wow cute though. They'd be fine. They'd be cute. But I can't, like, I don't know, because it what's the point?

SPEAKER_00 30:21

Like, you're like a man to me, right?

SPEAKER_01 30:24

No, so you can break it down. This is learning one-on-one. So I kind of just feel like um how can I describe this? So, yeah, they're dominant, but they're still so like soft. Soft. Okay. Like it's the best of both worlds. I mean, I see how someone would say if you're gonna deal with a dominant woman, then you might as well be with the men. No, it's different. Men sometimes smell. They kind of you could not smell. Like, you know, women are soft, they have soft hands, they're soft with you, they open doors. Yeah. Men don't even open doors like that anymore. Okay, I agree. Like that's we raise you. I agree. I agree. It starts at home. Yeah, I think I get to sometimes by men complaining so much about women. Yes. And I'm like, well, you act like a bitch, go be with a man then. That's what I'm saying. And sometimes they are. They're downloaded. Yeah. That's scary. Can I tell you, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. It used to honestly, it used to be like, okay, American man, you don't know, right? No, it's anyone. Because women be on the go through the apps too ladies, grinder. Oh, not just that, the app. I told you about the app, right? Yes. Y'all know about the app where you can literally search the guys in your area to see who they have had sex with. Is it the T app? Yeah. So no lie. No lie. It was three guys who were trying to talk to me in the Richmond area and now I'm back in Richmond. I looked them up. I know that's right, friend. I looked them up and I found out the nasty things about two of them. And red flags? Um, beyond red flags. And the other guy actually just got married. Oh. So when I tell y'all that app is for real. And so when I started telling the guys that information, they were just like, I don't know who you talk to. I what do you mean you don't know who I talked to? I don't know nobody around you. Uh-huh. It literally paused me, and I was like, no. I've looked up some men too on there. Not for me, for like other people. Yeah. And I would say, you guys are gross. Yeah, oh, Maryland. All the dudes in Maryland is no joke, y'all. Some of them on my Facebook on that ad. And then it's like some of the accusations are really accusations because like you know them to know that that that that's what they do. I found out one dude like his booty roll plays with. And I don't do no blood action. I was like, oh, that's a big no for me. I just feel like that's like my worst fear. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. It was like, oh my god, I have to pull it up. So it's so funny. So Dana and I were talking, and I was in the air, I was back in Bowie area. I pulled up the app and I was like, oh my god, D, I know him.

SPEAKER_00 32:56

She was like, You do? I was like, Yeah, and so we just like doing just playing around. They're like, oh, she likes his booty played with and sure.

SPEAKER_01 33:03

Does that make a man gay? Yes. Yes. I think so too. Yeah. But they're trying to justify it so bad. No. It's like they they're really trying to justify that. No, I'm sorry. Any guy who like and I don't believe in the test test, but any guy who is comfortable like lifting up or any oh no. Yeah, you might do the man. I'm not doing all that. I don't know. That's why I'm over here. No. But you know what? It's a lot of women who eat ass. Yeah, and they become like Gabrielle Union. Ew. Yeah, she does it to the wing. Yeah. But any guy who knows a female does that, I swear they they had it done. Yeah. Like, I know a couple of them. How do men feel comfortable asking their partner to play with their butt? Right.

SPEAKER_00 33:40

That's so nasty to me.

SPEAKER_01 33:42

I don't touch like guys I deal with are clean, but I don't know about back there. And I don't want to know about it. Why do you want to be get played with back there? Yeah, that's weird to me. But that's this generation, but not even this generation. Older guys like that shit. I guarantee you some grandmas used to juggle some butts back. That is disgusting. I swear they probably did, but me personally, I will never. What trying to say? Maybe Peggy too. Yeah. Okay, so I heard about that. So what is that? Is that when they put the finger or like that little toy? You know a friend? I don't know. Okay, sorry. Do they help us with that? You have toys. I know she knows. Yeah. I'm not saying you know like that, but I'm saying I know you heard people doing that. Like Pegging, that's like a lot for me. I'm gonna answer all that. Do you know Rosa? Yeah. Okay. Like so fake things. Huh? Fake bits. Love them. Oh wow. Really? I never liked them. They be like, you can't, it's not the same. To me, it is. You know what they're doing. And you don't get pregnant? Babe. And I can't get you go all round from round from round. And we don't have to plan for the next day. What? Strapped up? Me? Yeah. No. Oh, okay. Okay. Respectfully, yeah. It's okay. I don't want to do that. Yeah. Okay. So question is have any of your girlfriends walked around with straps on? You know that's a thing. You want something funny? That's a thing, essence. So oh boy. Uh-oh. Oh god. I've done with that. I dealt with someone that was really older than me. Yeah. He had like the old school straps. So I mean like the harness. Uh-huh. Oh, I know she was hurting. Yeah. Some things hurt. That does hurt. Yeah, she did walk around after. Some things hurt. So I'm hoping you were talking about that. And it it it really made me like kind of like my life. But it was like a where did you meet your girlfriend? I mean, there's a lot in the area, I know. Um so there's like this uh little um little gathering. It's called Girls Love Studs. I've been to the what? No, no, no. Wait, what? It's called Girls Love Studs. Is is it an app? No, it's actually like it's like a little party they have. It's really every Thursday Saturday Friday at Sam Satellite. Okay, take me out. We'll go. Okay. And then they're not slim pickings in there. I think I've only met like two and they didn't stick. Are they like Timbo, uh like Timberlands and white tees or all that shit? Like Converse. Okay. Okay. But it means it it it's nice just to go out there and see like the crowd. Yeah, I want to do some journalistic. And then I meet them online as well. So like Instagram is a thing, you know. Threads. Yeah. Do you have threads? Okay, I took it off. I didn't put it back on. You just put it back on. So threads, they have like a little lesbian group, and you know, I I don't really see a lot of meet a lot of lesbians in Richmond. Um or people say I'm really shallow with my taste. I don't think I'm shallow. You have to be attractive. I have to be attracted to it. Right, yeah. Like I I definitely have a tight.

SPEAKER_02 36:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:57

Which or tight? Um, I like them tall, like taller than me. I'm 5'3. Okay. And I like tattoos. Is it hard to find a woman tall? Like a stud taller? Mm-mm. I see a lot of short studs. Like a fear of me, of mine. You get the goofy ones. Yeah. I can't do it. Oh my gosh. So what what is your if you had to meet like a woman? Just to say. Oh, a man, but like just do both for you. Okay. So what is your type? Um a man? Oh, that's easy. I know I love tall men, right? But you're short. Yeah, but now I used to say guys 6'6, 6'7. That's kind of freaky to me now. Oh, yeah. They used to be tall shit. Um, now I'm okay with someone like 5'10 to like 6'3. Okay, yeah, that's still pretty tall. Um, complexion doesn't matter. I like darker men, but light skinned men always tall to me. And I like, I mean, I don't like the dark like tie. Tide like the midnight where you can't even see them like that. You just see their eyes and their teeth. I don't like them that a lot. But I like, I don't know, like Usher complexion or Okay, yeah, you know, something like that. Um but I always date guys who look like my daughter father looked like Comelo Anthony. Like I know that's right. So I always date guys who look like that. Um female, I'm trying to think. Who would be? Okay, so you know like Stan Keisha? I love her. I like her body, but I don't like her face. So naturally for me, just growing up and stuff, I always seen women with curves. So for me, when I look at the like Stan Keisha bodies or even a shanti's body or someone like that, I naturally just You want a curvy woman. Yeah. But you're curvy though. Yeah. You're the curvy. Look at you, boo. I know, you're the curvy guy. I think that I don't think that'd be weird. Like, I don't know, but when I look at one, I body attracts me, actually. Okay. And so it's nothing wrong with slim. Yeah, but it's just like I've seen curves all my life.

SPEAKER_00 38:55

Yeah. Um, but I don't know, face-wise, I'm trying to think.

SPEAKER_01 39:00

Um, Ashanti is gorgeous. Ashanti is a good one. Ashanti is gorgeous. I have fun with the film. Like, we can have a ball.

SPEAKER_02 39:06

Really?

SPEAKER_01 39:07

I didn't hang out with it. I mean, we go, we've been out already, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:11

But I wanna hang out. I wanna go. I'm gonna try like not I'm gonna go and see.

SPEAKER_01 39:15

You are very open-minded. I love that about you. I am too. Yeah. I won't go no go go's or nothing, but I'll go something like that. Yeah.

unknown 39:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 39:25

We'll do it. Let's do it. This is what weekend. Is this a weekend that's going on? Yeah. Really? Well, no, so it's every Thursday. Friday. Right. Sunday light. It's every Third Friday. I'll have to get the details. Okay. They brought um, do you know Young Tia? That's Rick Ross' baby mama. Oh. She's on TikTok. We'll talk about it. They brought her recently.

unknown 39:49

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 39:49

And before that, they bought like a DJ. She was a a stud with mask papers and anything. So it's a real thing. Yeah, it's a real thing. And um, yeah, I think it's probably Thursday. Yeah, it's a Sam satellite. I know them people come in there with their lineups and them Tim's on and they go on a baby on a prowl. Really? Maybe on a proud. Do they have money? Um, the one that I met had money. For real? I just she didn't she. I think truck drivers who are women are sexy. I used to want to do that. Red flag truck driver. I was gonna say that.

SPEAKER_00 40:16

I agree because I agree.

SPEAKER_01 40:19

My daughter's father truck driver. Hell no. I can't do another one. Like, they make hella money. I feel like I'm gonna talk about I have therapy tomorrow. We'll talk about that. Truck drivers. I can't do it. Yes, because my on and off again is a truck driver. He needs to be the biggest hoe. Yeah, I can't do a truck driver. Could you date a guy who you know is a hoe, but you just don't. Well, not that female too. Females be hoe. They be hoes. Yo, dogs be hoes. They're more they're they're they're more hoarsh than men. Yep, I agree. I agree. Yeah. You know what's so funny too, as in the terminology and the pronouns and stuff, right? Yeah. When I was growing up, it was just like they didn't care, you'd be like, yeah, like whatever. Now you can't say none of that. Yeah, butch. Yeah, is it? That's more than like that's that's more the older generation, right? So they're studs, yeah. Yeah, but that's more the older generation. But do you understand the pronouns? Like, yeah, I understand. I respect them. But I feel like because I'm getting old. I mean, I respect all of it. Yeah. But I don't Does it matter, do you think?

SPEAKER_00 41:16

Because I sometimes I think people enjoy them. Hey, can't believe I think sometimes people want to be offended, right? So it's just like I'm the most open-ass person in the world. I don't care what you do. I'm not the judge. God will judge you. But people feel offended. Like, I'm just like, y'all, first of all, that's improper English when you say them and then and this one person.

SPEAKER_01 41:33

So I'm trying to figure that out. But it's just how to be respectful to I just respect I just try to respect them as best as I can. Yeah. I don't want to be canceled. Yeah. So I'm gonna say a lot of kids that could give me good. Yeah, I'd be like, I'll just go with it. Um but you know what kind of throws me off? Yeah. When you're meeting them, yeah, and then they correct you rudely. I don't do that.

SPEAKER_00 41:55

Yeah, I agree with that completely.

SPEAKER_01 41:57

Relax. So whoever you are, essence. You deal with Doms. Yeah. Do you prefer giving or receiving? I'm a pillow princess. I ain't trying to do all that. I can. If I really like it. I ain't sweating. I ain't doing nothing wrong. You feel like you have to do more work with women or men. Yes, I be sweating like my God, sweating my quick wheez out. All this I'd be having to have sewing spike, baby. But it's more work with women and men. With women. Really? Yes, them things picky. You gotta just know what you're doing. That's a thing. Yes. I think men is just like when men are having sex, they do it for themselves. Yeah. They're just trying to get their little nut, you know, whatever the case is. So they're trying to just get it, get it over with. Yeah. Women they take their time. Yeah. So you be kind of sad, like, well, I remember one time I was just like, God, when it's gonna be over. I'm tired. I wanna go to sleep. Oh my god, so it was like a marathon. So, okay, but are you more satisfied with a man or woman? Because woman takes you longer to get there. Oh, so you you reach that peak quicker with a woman than a man? Oh my god, over and over again. So you prefer hair over a kick. I prefer both, but I can do hair.

unknown 43:22

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 43:23

I like all of it, scissor and everything. Yeah. After a while over the head though, I'm like, yo, put something in. Like, I mean, they definitely do. Yeah. Okay. Well. So it it's like the buildup to it because I have to after I'm like strapped. My thing though about the straps, right? You don't see anything come out of it. So it's just like the finish, like you feel proud when like it's like all over, right? But it's just like when they're done, it's just like okay. And nothing leaps out and like No, I think that the other was pretty. Really? Yeah. They put like milk in there.

SPEAKER_00 44:06

No.

SPEAKER_01 44:09

You know what though? I think that you wanted something. We can start out online. And put some milk in the old dough. Yes. Girl, you know what? Illusions. I'm telling you, the females would love it. Jordan, we need some samples. Wow, yeah. Let's get to the factory, babe.

SPEAKER_00 44:25

Because I'm just like, that's my whole thing, is just like, well, how do they like because with a man you know, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:31

Either they're gonna pull out or cut, but it's like with a woman, how do you? I think because I'm just so over having kids, and that's the fear of me just having said to me. You're like young once, you know. I don't even want to see it. It's cool. I've seen enough of it. Keep it, babe. I'm good. Oh, well, you can just you know what though? So I can just say they they probably finish when you finish.

SPEAKER_02 44:57

And that's the luxury of it.

SPEAKER_01 44:59

So like you is good. You like when you finish, they like know, like, yeah. So yeah. So then it's just like we done. Yeah, we done. And cuddle. And cuddle. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I have done things with a woman before. But I never do fake fits. You never done do it. I have, but I didn't like it. You didn't like it? No, it wasn't.

SPEAKER_00 45:23

I don't know, maybe because she was just so rough.

SPEAKER_01 45:24

And I was just like empty life. Like, where am I doing? Those would be so rough. Like that, I'm pretty I'm normally not attracted to them. Yeah, okay. They have a point to prove. Yeah, it was just it. And I felt like I was getting I don't know. Like rough.

SPEAKER_00 45:38

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 45:39

I just felt like it was not It was like not like how they have them now. They're more advanced now. Yeah. I mean between trying to it's 14 15 color, right? Yeah, but then I don't even like the color pink. I don't even know pink than my mom, so I ain't gonna. They normally well the ones that I've experienced are like the the complexion. Really? They're trying to match. And it has the skin and stuff now.

SPEAKER_00 46:01

Okay, I need to maybe get updated. Like the art to it now.

SPEAKER_01 46:04

Cause you know, the last ones I recall, it's like a ring pop. Oh, tonight.

SPEAKER_00 46:12

You look too served for me.

SPEAKER_01 46:16

We gotta, we gotta Oh my god. We gotta uh some good looking people in her family. Um that's so funny. We gotta upgrade me. Yeah. Okay. Maybe I'll be listening oh my god, I have so much stuff for us to do. We got Atlanta Pride, we got DC Pride. Oh, I've been to um DC before. DC Pride. It's like I went with um these girls. I used to do their hair. It was too much walking. Even when I'm small, I never like to walk that much.

SPEAKER_00 46:48

I used to do curriculum.

SPEAKER_01 46:51

Yeah, I'll absolutely take you. Yeah, you would love it. We'll probably go somewhere in Miami. You'll like that one. I used to do the one in New York, but that one to me is like so. I used to live in the part of Brooklyn where they would walk through. It was kind of nothing to me, but um, the one in Boston is pretty dope too. So we'll go to one. I'll take you. Yeah, and then you take me to one of the Yeah, we're gonna go. It's a lot of little events that they post on threads. I'm gonna put it back through. So yes, please put it back on your phone. Okay, but they have a lot of little events you can go to as well. So I I think it would be nice and cute for us. I think that'll be dope. We absolutely got some stuff to do. Let me tell y'all about Essen. She's the best person to go out with because I I look at her like you ready? She's like, we go, no problem. So my dad just turned 50. Yeah, yeah. He only got me by nine years. You're right in the middle. You're young. 40 is the new 20. I know I love being in my 40s. It's so late. Like, y'all look good. Y'all got secure jobs, y'all got a bag, y'all got homes, y'all got cars. Like, y'all, it's not a facade. Like, what you see is what you get with y'all. It's my generation. They pump fake so bad. Y'all pump fakes so bad. So they do the bad wild challenge. They do the bad wild challenge of life. And I just I just be over it. Yeah, I know. I'll be over it. But you have your shit together too, Essence. And that's why you know what I love about this. You're my first friend who's younger than me. I love you. All of my friends have always been older. And I like having older friends. Y'all are not even older to me. No, but I said that to Ty, I said Ty, oh my god, Essence is a baby to me. This is the first time I can say that in real life. Like, everyone is older. Everyone's 10, 12, like 8, 9. I know. When I tell you, like, I I swear to you, it was a blessing. Like this. I'm so happy that the situation didn't work out. Me too. And you know, I kind of took that risk because I'm really like, your sister will tell you. I'm live by my friends. Like, it can get like that. Yo, I knew she was real. Like, Essence was real. She was like, look, I I don't know, you like this. That's how parks happen. Like, it's cool. I was just like, and it was such a blessing in disguise. And I was like, that's so cool. Because I said, Ty, I'm not cool with no one who works with me or for me. And I'm just like, I love essence is dope as hell. Yeah. I think it was, it was, it was definitely a blessing in disguise. It was definitely orchestrated about the boys. Yeah, I'm telling you for real. And then, you know, when I was thinking, I was telling Ty because I was like, you know, I this is therapy for me, like doing podcasting and everything. And you know, I said Ty, I just want dope woman, a woman we could do this with. Like, I was just like, we got stories, like, we got tell some stuff. Yeah. I get some stuff off my chest. Child, when I tell you this is just a warm-up when people really get to know what we got going on. Like, yeah, it's gonna be so good. No, no, not at all. But it's the fact that you have lived such an amazing but real life, right? Yeah. Oh my gosh, so much has happened in my 20s. Mm-hmm. Like that, I feel like my twenties was rough. Oh my god. Yeah, yeah. It was rough. Yeah. I'm I'm I'm just glad to still be here. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 49:55

I'm still here. I'm rocking out. Are you happy with who you are as a woman? Yeah. I feel like I was just having a conversation with your sister and I just was telling her about I was being very vulnerable with her. Yeah. And she's also a healer. Mm-hmm. It's just well as talking to her though. Mm-hmm. And it can just be therapeutic. And you know, she just kind of was like your friend, you don't even know who you are. And I'm just like, You don't. You really don't. Talking then, friends. I don't think you see all your potential. I don't. And I'm and and I feel like when I do, I need to go hide. Oh, people gonna be on the lookout. No, they don't need they need to be front rowing sense. Yeah because you have to get in there. First of all, your style, you're the most fashionable person I have ever met in my life. I'm so honest. Girl, when I say you be on point, I put stuff together because I buy it together. You put stuff together because you talented. No, thank you so much. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00 50:45

If you're when I I was like, Todd, like the way this girl dresses is just you need to be dressing people. It's I'm yes, so that is in the making isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 50:55

That's a talent. Um, and I think it just came from my parents. Like my parents so sweaty. My mom does it so effortless. Yeah. And so does my dad. So do you. So I just thank you so much. So I just feel like if I just didn't know how to dress, I thought I'd be a failure. Girl, you could dress so many people's essence. And I just think you have butt, you have boobs, like people seeing how you dress, yeah, and you look good. And you know what's crazy? I had to learn how to dress with this because I was really smaller. Like I was smaller when I had before I had kids. Yeah. Like I was sticks. Yeah. So as I like got older, my mom always told me because people used to make fun of me for my weight. Really? Yeah. And 'cause all of my friends and family, they always had shapes growing up. I was always just up and down. Like I always had hits food. But I was never like curvy like this. So I used to always feel so like self-conscious. So my mom was like, when you turn 2526, it's gonna come back. And when I tell you I woke up at 2526 and I had dice, everything, I was like, dang, my mama won't mind you.

SPEAKER_00 52:01

I ain't had no titties. My sister tells you I ain't had no titty. Really? Girl, loud. I had just nipples. Shall I ask my sister, like, literally, I only had nipples. I had no bread. I had nothing.

SPEAKER_01 52:13

Are you serious? And look at you. I don't even know what size I'll wear. No, that's crazy. But I feel like I still don't have them sometimes because I always go with the eyebrow. And they they sit up. I have some on a little thumbnail. This one don't even sit. But no girl, they ain't they not like they used to be. No, they sit up. Yeah, I want them gone. Like your curves are like gone. Oh they use boots. Thank you. I'm getting that's a challenge. You know what stuff that I tell I say, everyone around me has big boobs. I said you just attract big boobs. Maybe because her biggest one. She can see all Africa with her. Yeah, for sure. My friend got it.

SPEAKER_00 52:48

I was like, oh y'all, that's a bit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:50

Girl, but when I was little, I used to stuff bras. Like, my sister had boots at like five, six, and seven. And I was I was always big chested. And then my mom's mom, or like grandma, like she didn't have no body, but she had her boots are like this. And I was like, dang, granny. Like you know what's crazy? I used to wear like two sports bras. I used to be ashamed of them. My mom can tell y'all, yeah. Like in like when I was like fourth and fifth grade, I didn't want them because I had them. There was a lot of them. And my mom, like, I used to wear camisoles and two sports bras. That's a prime example. You don't want what you have sometimes. Yes. Like, I just did not. And then as I got older, I was like, this is a lot. This is a lot. But you embrace that. No, I do. Right. I work my set now, you know what I mean? But don't you feel good when you put that shit on now? Like you do, don't you? I love how you love taking pictures. I do. I love it. It does something for me. You know, I be trying to remember, but I'd be forgetting that I take a wig off and I'm like I'm like, I'm over there. Like, no, we're gonna get you to take pictures now.

SPEAKER_00 53:50

I used to take them all the time. Oh, so you thank you, but I could be like, today, take pictures.

SPEAKER_01 53:56

I'm like, okay, but I'm like, maybe I should start before I do stuff. Because once I'm out the key to taking a picture, like going out, is you have to take your picture before you get to the festivities. And then because then when you're eating and you're drinking and all that stuff, you gotta touch up your makeup. You can't got time for all that. No, get my picture in there. And I don't like people who don't know how to take pictures like that. Like Monet is so self self-conscious. I'm like, friend, you're doing what you're supposed to do. Just take the picture out and then she cares about it. Yeah, she does. Oh my god. Do you want to see me look dumb? Like, are you gonna take good pictures? Do I tie? I will coach you. I do not like I will coach you. I don't do this because I'm short or what and I'm just like, y'all got that? Like, you got that? Like, and I got Android.

SPEAKER_02 54:41

People can talk about like But you know what?

SPEAKER_01 54:44

Androids now are like next level. They are, and I sell everyone, I don't care how much money I got, I am not leaving my Android behind. And you know, let me tell you about this one. She is a boss. Like, she'll she'll literally have on a calm fit product, shoes Gucci. Now all it is, but it's like real calm. Like it's like a silent killer. Like, I live for her bag. Can I tell you my like okay? So one thing shoes like my grandpa told me when I was younger, and that's in your shoes. Yes. Because you don't want your feet to hurt. One of those shoes you had on at the concert. I was like, I love them. They were boots. Oh. Oh, um, I got them from Marcella, I think, or something. They were teeth. Thank you, girl. I gotta get you your size when they go, because them dudes are a little pricey. They were different. But I'm gonna get you a pin. Yes. They're comfortable, but like after well, I was sad they're that comfortable anyway. Like, we had gone to the RB concert out here, and it was like different this time. People were so drunk and like you remember me moving you back? We did, Ty. Essence moved me back. Like, when I see girls would fall in, they were drunk. Like, it was so messy this time. Yeah. When you go out, have some coop about your life. And you know what I love? She went to the party with me, Danny Doll. Big up yourself, Danny. And like Essence was so cool sitting there taking pictures. I was like, this is my type of vibe. Like, I could be chilling. Like I'm like, I'm not into the sloppy drunk girls. No, and we go fall. And yes, yes. I'm not into this the I remember the girl, you were literally vibing. Yeah. And she was going to the stage and she like was trying to fight her way up to the stage. And she almost bumped into you. That really pissed me off. Like, I felt like, have you seen Blindside?

SPEAKER_02 56:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 56:24

I felt like how he did when he pushed it. Oh what the hell? Can I tell you? Oh, God bless you. Can I tell you, Essence? Like, I used to be, I would tell you, like, I was just like, something after having baby, nothing, I don't see nothing, like, nothing bothers me. I used to be crazy. Like, you calm down. So now it's it's me that I need to.

SPEAKER_00 56:45

Cause I'm just like, okay, they're drunk, whatever.

SPEAKER_01 56:47

As long as like my thing is like disrespect, right? Yeah. But like unknowingly, it doesn't bother me. But even sometimes, like, nothing bothers me anymore. I love that. I don't know if that's healthy or not, because I feel like when I do snap, it's not gonna be good. Well, no, I think you have to balance to it. Because see, with me, I don't like ignorance. Same. Mm-hmm. Don't piss me off. Sing. Like, don't piss me off. You know, I used to say I gotta bite my tongue. I've never been good at that, but now it's just like I don't hear. And I think I don't hear on purpose. Yeah. Because I feel like I hear, I'm gonna react. Yeah. And my react is not always good. Right. But I'm just like, I don't want my daughter to feel it's okay to be out. I used to be angry.

unknown 57:24

Girl.

SPEAKER_01 57:26

I'm still working on it. I know, but look at you now though. Like you're so calm. Like you add peace into my life. Like I used to be chilling. Like the ride up to Baltimore, it was so relaxing. And you play Janet Jackson. I thought you didn't. You was such a place in my heart forever. I didn't know. I left Janet Jackson. I left for 16. She looks amazing. She is amazing. She looks so good. And you know, I learned my dad's birthday because of her birthday.

SPEAKER_02 57:52

This is birthday.

SPEAKER_01 57:56

Yeah. My dad's birthday is May 16th, but it's Janet Jackson's birthday. It is. So when I give her a shout out, I have to give him a shout out. It's the balance. Who dances better? Janet Jackson or Sierra? Janet. Sierra's a. She's alright. She be doing all that extra stuff. All that. It's like she almost wants to break dance. I can't believe I'm gonna have to disagree.

SPEAKER_00 58:17

Are you serious? I you do too. I never knew that.

unknown 58:23

She has a strong.

SPEAKER_00 58:24

Yeah, when I tell, I don't know what it is.

SPEAKER_01 58:26

I think Janet. I need to go home and watch Pleasure Principle tonight. I know. So so you know I've been dancing my whole life, right? And so I'm not sure. Yeah, I used to I did that before in a showcase. Come on now. But I killed it. I killed it when I had done that. Jen is so smooth. Sierra Sierra dressed like it hurts. I mean, dance like it hurt. Like, why are you dancing like it hurts? It's supposed to be smooth. You're supposed to be smooth. You gotta just flow through the body. I feel like Sierra does that just like I think my hair hurt. People hate, I'm gonna say this, but I think Crispon dances better than Michael Jackson. Oh, we were just talking about that. Y'all were and she's not and your sister's not with that. You think so too? I don't know. I think Michael's better. I disagree too. He's the original. Yeah, he's original because he was born earlier.

SPEAKER_00 59:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 59:16

Like so it's like, I'm telling y'all, look, and I'm someone who's an old head at heart. Like, I love my oldies. I love, I feel like you guys show respect. Yeah, yeah. But I don't think any man born so far dances better than Chris Brown. Chris Brown is that guy. He is that guy. He's that guy, but I feel like he had a lot of demons on him. I was gonna, I wanted us to go to the concert, but when I saw all their front seats are gone, I if I we can't be in the front, I don't want to go. So concerts make my knees buckle. Really? It'd be too many spirits, too many energies. Like I can feel it. And then people be so angry. Yeah. At concerts, they're supposed to be happy. That's the truth. And then they're drinking a lot. Essence, that's the truth. Can I tell you how I could say that's the truth? Uh huh. Because we have gone to the Nita Baker and Babyface concert. Uh-huh. And people were fighting at that in Baltimore. How are you fighting at that? How you fighting at that? How you fighting Nita Baker? I was like fighting at the Ashley Brothers. I would say that. Ooh, I would love to go see that. Oh my gosh. We have one and so fine. You know what's too? I want to go to a comedy show. So um I love Gary Owen. He's gonna be a rich man. You know who that is? Yeah, the white guy. Uh-huh. Would you date a white guy?

unknown 1:00:22

No.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:23

White woman? Oh my god. Taxes.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:29

I didn't remember.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:30

You would. I was.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:31

You were, but not a white guy.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:32

Have you ever dated outside your race? I was I did date outside my race. I was 11. He went to um, he was a Catholic school. He had bread too. Nice little change. He smothered me too much. I'm not really into all that. I don't smother you too. But that's it. I don't want to breathe. That's it though. I need this one. Have you ever dealt with a big guy? I can't do it. Why? I mean, it's like a woman right now. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. All that. And then I wonder, but I like women be loving big guys. I've never dealt with a big guy. Women love big ass because big ass have money. And they tricks and they spin. Okay, I'm not gonna lie, right? When I was mad at my ex, I tried to talk to this big guy before. But the way he was eating was making me sick. And I'm a big girl and I don't eat like that, but he was like, I could big, right? Uh-huh. And then like I don't know, it's just because see, also we talk we talked about coins. Yeah. It was a sweat for me. Like, okay. So now I'm worried about your health too. It's like we gotta pick our poison in life. But you know, some guys are hard on big girls, right? But understanding that's so hard on us. Let me tell you, let's talk about this because I feel like men are so hard on women. Yeah. Getting us in the gym, making fun of our body shapes. Like, who are you? Who are you to make fun of? Like, you don't know what we have to go through. It's like PCOS, it's all this stuff that women have to go through that can kind of trigger us to be bigger.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:09

Yeah, but periods too.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:11

Yeah. Mm-hmm. That's why I don't date you. Like, for me, belly, like, I don't know. Sometimes I'll look at a guy, but I know like bellies. I don't know if I could do it with a guy with a belly. Really? Yeah, I don't think so. Yeah. Like, I'm just like, I have a pudge. I don't know if I want us to like be touching and like. No, somebody gotta be in shape. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:31

It ain't gonna be a shit.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:36

It ain't me right now, babe. It's not me right now.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:39

Oh my god, I absolutely love you. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:42

I am so excited to be on this amazing journey. Yes, Jesus. This is amazing. This is gonna be fun for y'all. Like y'all, just look and wait, you all, for everything we have coming up. All the conversations, all like the emotions is gonna be involved. And it's a safe space. It is, it'll be a safe space. You know what's so crazy? I know this was meant to happen because before my baby was going crazy. And not one word. She's going to be. Not one word. And we're a mother behind the scenes. Meanwhile, my oldest is moonwalking as possible. And I'm trying to focus on you guys. So balance. I want to shout you out. I want people to follow you and get styled by you. Okay. Can you talk about it a little bit? Yes. So I just um created my styling list. Yay. So it's styled by essence on Instagram. Yeah. Um, yeah. So I just, I don't know, that's my baby. I can't wait to someone see how you dress and how you could dress them. You got it. I'm I'm so appreciative of you guys. You guys are so supportive of me and all of my endeavors. So, yeah, style by essence. Um, I'm running a little special right now. It's small little feet. So it's um $20 a look. Yeah. So nightlife, whatever you guys got going on, $20 a look.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:58

When that's how you should shit on.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:00

And I do it really quickly too. I think my last client, I gave her uh four looks in like two hours. That's amazing. When I'm locked in, I'm locked in. But can I tell you the difference between you and other people? It's from head to town.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:15

So some people will dress, but their face, they forget about it, they forget about their hair.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:20

You're down. Like I asked my client, so how is your hair? Do you have a middle part? Do you have a bob? Do you have curly? Yeah. Because your look has to go with your hair. Yeah, I agree with that completely. And I need to know if you're you represent your brand. Thank you. You're welcome.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:32

So you know essence white as hell.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:34

I try. Thanks, guys. She's real too, y'all. I appreciate that so much. Yeah, it took me a a while because I was scared. Yeah. I think I was scared of um just the people in general being supportive. But I feel like I had y'all. And I don't know. But I cannot worry about that because it'll come. Can I tell you for years, Tiny? I supported so many people, and they never even watched my show, and I got support from everyone else around. To see that over 75,000 people have watched my videos is crazy. Right? So it's Yo, that's so that's so dope. And it was none of those people who I used to be. You gotta celebrate yourself. Oh, please girl. We'll come with it when we get those sponsors. You know, but I'm just like your support comes from people you don't even know. Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:18

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:19

If I'm being honest with you. Um, we must shout out Jordan. Treasure is for you, right? Yes. Of you, trees of you. I know, Ty, when did y'all event? It's for the I pop over with you guys. Oh, they all fell on the floor.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:35

The 25th of July.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:37

The bar at fellas.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:39

At Bar at Fellas, you all. Please pop up, you all.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:44

Yes, first Friday to the bar at Fellas. They are allowing us to video in their amazing establishment, you guys. I'm so grateful. Come get some food, come get some drinks, come wings off the fruits. Like, they have everything going on here. DJ, like, first Fridays. Um, they have comedy shows. They have it all, you all. So come out to bar at dollars, right? Yes. Support my friends, guys. Yeah, they're amazing. Oh my gosh. And you all um Den Danielle Noon, you all support her events. Um Kimmy.

unknown 1:06:13

Event fanatics.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:14

Event fanatics. Who am I forgetting, Ty? Kimmy. Once that baby dropped.

unknown 1:06:18

Visual Radiance.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:19

Visual Ratings and also KC Hot Pod. Um, am I forgetting anyone? Ty looked them all down and now they're on the floor. Also, they have a Thursday night here. Oh, they have a Thursday night here, too? Look at the stories for the fire. Look at the stories for the fire. See, Ty is on it. Yes. I do believe that the barbellas are going up. The barbellas is going up, guys. Yeah, everything new. It's gonna be amazing. Shout out Up is Smoke Kookah. Yes. Okay. Am I forgetting anyone else? I gotta shout out all these amazing people. Anyone else? Oh, if they want to rent space from here, contact me on um Instagram. If you all want to rent space at bar at Bellas, contact Monet Ty. The bar at Bellas, contact Ty. Sincerely Monet on Instagram. And she will put you on. Did I get everything out? Um tell Vendors will link out too. Vendors link out. Anything else? That's it. Okay. She had a whole list because she was like trying to support these people who are supporting y'all and showing y'all love and letting y'all use this amazing establishment. Thanks, booth. I'm so excited as it's about this. Yes. Oh my god, we had an amazing first. Oh my gosh. Now, next time we're getting in it. We're getting in it. This is a warm-up. You all can find this on YouTube, on iHeart. It will all I have to put all of this on today. So by the end of the week, everything will be up. Everything will be up. This is amazing, y'all.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:41

I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:42

Yay! So you all know the first episode we can't live stream from YouTube. So the next one they allow you to. So it will be uploaded to YouTube. Yes. I'm I'm amazed. I'm so happy you all. So, and I am so grateful you guys to be doing this with you guys. Yes, I'm so this was such a blessing. Everything was just ordered. Yes, divine. Or God is the best. God is the best. Yeah, shout out God. Shout out God, y'all. Shout out God. Because he's a man. Love God down. If we have more men like that, we will be happy. And not have God palm plots inside. But it's God. Yeah. Um not believing they're bigger than God. Bigger. We'll talk about that in the next episode. So, you all, thank you all so much. We're so excited to be on this amazing journey, you all. And just stay tuned for much, much more, okay?

SPEAKER_02 1:08:32

Yay! Yay!

SPEAKER_01 1:08:33

Our episodes will be on YouTube starting next time live. We will be filming once every two months, you all. Yes. But in between time, look at everything we have going on. Look at everything we're doing. Hey Latonia, how are you?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:45

Just keep up with us, you all. We are gonna, we need to like do the shoots where we go places.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:52

Oh my god. He says she stayed duh. Um, the second year anniversary is in June, you all. I gotta do something. You're gonna come out, right? Yeah, you guys are doing something? Yeah, um, we'll be shooting and we'll have a severe audience. So you gotta be there. And you gotta be on. My girl, my girls is doing big things. It is the second year anniversary and I'm so excited. I'm gonna have to get a room because y'all know I'm sleeping. Yeah, we're we're we got that.

unknown 1:09:16

We got that.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:18

But I'm so excited about everything you have to do. But we're gonna check out the the um, I wanna look at some doms. Oh yeah. I got some friends, and I'll take you some places too. Yes. All right, sincerely Monet, anything? Uh thank you everybody. Thank you all so much, you guys. Have an amazing night, and we will see you all in July. But not just that. Remember, he says she stayed two year anniversary. Big up Ways World. Yes. You all on Saturday, June the 20th at 7 p.m. Thank you guys for too much. Till next time. Yes.

unknown 1:09:52

That's just that was amazing.